Handling Emotions Like Jesus
By Jessica Brodie
Wherever you are with your mental health and wellness, it’s so important to remember that checking in emotionally and spiritually are hugely important.
As a kid, I grew really accustomed to repressing my emotions, tucking them all away neatly on a shelf and trying my best to pretend they didn’t exist. I was “fine.” Everything was “fine,” or I’d certainly do my level best to make it be.
But over the years, I realized that’s not necessarily healthy. As the mother of a teenaged daughter with mental illness, namely depression and anxiety, I’ve learned a lot from her about how important it is to deal with the little things before they turn into big things. I think we’ve all been at a place where something tiny, left unchecked, escalates into a colossal issue. (I certainly have!)
As Christians, I genuinely believe we can learn a lot from Jesus in how we deal with some of our emotional and mental health issues.
While divine, Jesus was also human. He experienced times of sadness and anger, and while none of the gospels record every moment of his ministry—mostly the highlights, not the daily nitty-gritty—if you look carefully, you can see some of the ways Jesus dealt with things.
Now, for those of us today who deal with debilitating mental illness, this is not to say that medication is not the answer. For some people, medication is a significant help. We are not perfect, and some of us are saddled with physical and brain issues in this fallen world that I know Jesus did not deal with because, unlike us, he is perfect. But medication aside, there are behaviors we can adopt daily to help us cope with difficult situations and emotions, and taking a cue from Jesus can help us with this.
Here are a few:
Quiet time alone
Jesus often went off by himself for quiet time. For example, in Mark 1, we’re told how Jesus spent a day healing the sick and driving out demons. Then, early the next morning, he went off “to a solitary place, where he prayed” (Mark 1:35 NIV). His disciples had to go looking for him.
We, too, can benefit from quiet time as a way to check in with our emotions. We live in a busy, noisy world with so many people and situations clamoring for attention. Sometimes it’s important to spend time in silence and solitude to reset.
Time in nature
Most of the times when the Bible tells us Jesus went off alone for quiet time, he retreated to natural places.
I imagine he could have told his disciples he wanted time alone in a room, perhaps holed up in a house where they were staying. But the Bible tells us he often went to places in nature to be alone. Perhaps he went because those were the most convenient, but I believe he also went because time in creation can be a wonderful way to draw close to the Lord and to our true selves. For instance, in Matthew 14:23, after a day spent teaching and performing miracles, he withdrew alone to a mountainside. And the night before his crucifixion, he went to the Garden of Gethsemane near the Mount of Olives. This was clearly a special place to him, for Luke 22:39 tells us he went out “as usual” to the Mount of Olives.
We can also reap much from stepping away from life-as-normal and into a natural space to gather our thoughts and emotions and reconnect with ourselves and with God. Being in nature can often be a timeless, universal experience. While some natural spaces are tended and cultivated by humans, many are truly wild places untamed and untouched by us. They were created by God and remind us that, when everything in “normal life” can go awry, God is our focus and our Master. He set all things into motion and existence. Being in his creation can be an excellent reminder of this, as well as a comfort.
Spending time with friends
Jesus also spent time with friends being social—laughing, teaching, eating, living. Not only did he do his important work in the world sharing about God and performing miracles, but he also connected with others in an authentic way.
When life gets difficult, I can be a hermit of sorts. I withdraw into my self-imposed shell and tend to important matters until things feel right again. But this can also be harmful and can make things worse, or make me feel extremely isolated (and therefore more susceptible to temptation). I’ve learned over the years that spending time with other people helps me grow, helps me express my emotions, and prevents me from getting too self- or family-absorbed. It keeps me in check spiritually and emotionally and helps me stay accountable.
Serving others
Jesus spent his ministry teaching, healing, driving out demons, and performing many miracles as he pointed to God. As he says in Matthew 20:28, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
For me, serving others is also a great way to reconnect with my emotions and put life into perspective. I genuinely enjoy serving. If I feel socially awkward, it gives me a “job” to focus on when I don’t know how to relate to people. The work also helps clear my mind and focus on what really matters in life, which is not the trivialities I can get lost in at times. What matters are God and relationships—not worries or stresses or responsibilities.
I remember once being stressed out about a slew of things, but I’d committed to doing some mission repair work. As I hammered tarps and swept out debris, I found the hard work helped me feel better, and it made me focus on loving others through what I was doing. Soon my emotions settled, and the problems of my life didn’t seem as important anymore. It’s not that I forgot about or repressed them, but the work changed my perspective.
Expressing our emotions
Jesus expressed his emotions. He didn’t pretend everything was fine. When his friend Lazarus died, we’re told, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). When he experienced righteous anger, he got mad and flipped over tables in the temple (Mark 11:15-18).
It’s good for us to do this, too. We don’t need to punch someone or destroy property when we’re mad, but kicking a can or raging at a pillow—or venting to a close friend or counselor—can help us acknowledge the anger within us. And frankly, crying is good, too. We don’t need to keep everything tightly in check. If we’re sad, remember: if the son of God can cry, why shouldn’t we? It doesn’t make us weak to express emotions. We’re supposed to do this.
Getting real with God
Finally, getting real with God and bringing our questions and doubts to him can be a very helpful thing. Before his crucifixion, the Bible tells us Jesus begged God to take away what was going to happen (Matthew 26:39). Then, on the cross, we’re told Jesus cried out to God and asked why he had forsaken him (Matthew 27:46).
Sometimes our emotions feel out of control. Bringing them to God is often the answer. We might still have to endure whatever unpleasantness or pain is before us, but knowing we can and should bring those feelings to God is a good thing. We have a heavenly Father who is in control, and he loves us.
Handling our emotions like Jesus can teach us a lot. Instead of repressing our feelings, or letting things spiral and end up controlling us, we can handle them wisely and in a godly way.
How have you experienced any of this? Can you think of other ways Jesus modeled healthy emotional expression? I want to know!
God bless you, friends. May you have a blessed and joyful week.
