Do I Really Have To Know Why?
By Jessica Brodie
Have you ever been given a command but, instead of doing it, paused to ask why?
I’m a curious sort and an independent thinker, and I have been since childhood. You know people who have that fight or flight tendency? Mine is freeze—then assess exactly what is needed. In an emergency, this is usually a good thing. I can keep a level head instead of panicking, then jump in with a helpful action, whether that’s seeking shelter or performing first aid.
But sometimes it’s a bit annoying to those who love me. For example, with my husband, I’ll be driving and about to make a left turn when he’ll urge, “Go straight.” And of course as it’s me, being me, I can’t seem to do that.
“Why?” I’ll ask, my brow furrowing.
Admittedly, I don’t love orders, even from those I respect and trust. I like being in charge, and I typically work alone for a reason. “Lone wolf” is an apt description.
If I understand why something is required, and it makes sense, I’ll cooperate. But my first instinct when told to do something isn’t to do it—it’s to question.
When we watch action or war movies, my husband often teases that I’d be the first casualty in a scenario. Often, the lead actor shouts to his partner, “Duck!” The partner ducks, the bullet misses his head, and everyone is safe.
If I were that partner, I’d be asking, “Duck? Why?” and wind up flat.
I sometimes feel guilty about not immediately following orders when given. My husband is one of the smartest people I know, has phenomenal judgment, and always looks out for my safety, so when he says I should do something—which isn’t often—I know there’s a good reason. Yet that’s my nature.
Early in my journey as a Christian, I sometimes questioned certain aspects of the Bible. Why did God do that? Why is Jesus “the” way? Why is it so important that we honor our parents, or not lie, or embrace humility?
I spent time digging into scripture and historical context, reading different translations and querying pastors, until one day I decided all this questioning was futile. Everything I found always pointed back to God and God’s all-powerful, all-knowing, always perfect plan. Everything in my experience pointed to this, everything in my reasoning pointed to this, and frankly, while all the learning was extraordinarily interesting, at times it got in the way of my ability to simply do what God needed in a given situation.
Besides, all the thinking in the world pales in comparison to the innate feeling and deep soul-knowing that the only real and right thing in all the universe is the Lord.
Today, when I feel God steer me one way, I don’t question. I just do it. If I feel a “Holy Spirit nudge” telling me to smile at a stranger or pray for someone or do something specific, it’s an automatic instinct—I obey. Heed the Lord.
I don’t need to know why when it comes to God. I don’t need to know what His plan is.
I know I play a role in his plan.
Hopefully my ego settles down the older I get and I can stop being hard-headed when it comes to “doing as asked” with other humans. Sanctification is a process, and I’m getting there.
But when it comes to God, I follow. And when my prideful nature starts to wonder why, I remind myself Who I answer to.
I don’t have to know why—I don’t have to know anything. I only have to trust in the Lord.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”—Proverbs 3:5-6
Do you struggle with trust or obedience? Have you been able to conquer this? I’d love to know. Share in the comments below.
