How to Be a Friend Who Prays
By Jessica Brodie
The words roll off my tongue as if on auto-reply: “I’ll pray for you.”
Yet what better thing can we do for a friend in need than stop what we are doing, bend our souls to the Risen One, and offer up heartfelt prayer?
But I didn’t always think this way. I used to think the best way I could love my friends was listen to them—or even better, offer them advice (often unsolicited). I’d stay on the phone late into the night as my friends and I would talk about boys, school woes, and family drama. “Being there for them” was how I’d describe it.
Later, I might choose to love a friend by walking her dog or entertaining her newborn, raving about her performance at work, or cooking her dinner when she had a cold.
Yet over the years, I’ve realized the very best thing I can do is pray. Yes, I still listen (and yes, sometimes I still offer unsolicited advice, though Little Miss Know-It-All over here is trying very hard to keep that at a minimum!). And yes, I still do favors, buy trinkets, cook meals, or whatever else might help.
But prayer is often my first response—and, I’ve come to understand, it’s the biggest gift of all.
See, a praying friend is a Godly friend, a forever friend. A praying friend is the best there is.
This is because a friend who prays for you knows the bond you share isn’t just in this world but also the “real” world: the eternal kingdom ruled by God the Father, the kingdom that has no end and transcends death, lasting for eternity. A praying friend knows the One who’s really in control of all things we worry about is God, and there’s no better way to deal with those worries than to bring them to God, to lay them all down at His feet and ask Him for help.
In James 5, the apostle tells us to fan the fame of faithful prayer always. As he writes, “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:13-16 NIV).
Elsewhere we get the same encouragement. Ephesians 6:18 urges us to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” And in 1 Timothy 2:1, we’re encouraged that “petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people.”
And, of course, there’s Jesus—our model of how we should live and love others. In John 17:6-26 we are shown how Jesus prayed fervently for his friends.
His example is a powerful display of true, God-honoring friendship, the kind of friendship that points to the Father.
If you’re not sure how to pray for your friends, it’s OK: God doesn’t need fancy language. An earnest heart is enough. Start however it feels natural to you. Perhaps begin by listing your friends by name, creating a picture of them one by one in your mind, and asking God to bless them. You might know the needs of your friends, such as a health issue or a work conflict, and you ask for God’s hand upon those circumstances, or you might find that as you pray for you friend, a need they haven’t even expressed to you comes to the surface. Even just saying their name in your head as you lift the thought of them toward God can be a prayer.
Another way you can pray is to write their names in the margin of the Bible passage you are currently reading, and let God’s word take care of the rest.
Others like to journal their prayers for others, appreciating the focus and tangible action of the practice. You can pray for people by text and social media, too. There are so many ways!
Whatever you do, trust that God hears you, and know that the Holy Spirit is weaving a mighty cord of heavenly love among you and those you love.
Happy New Year, friends! Share below how you like to pray for your friends or other loved ones.
