A more important ‘talk’
By Jessica Brodie
Ok, moms and dads—you know it’s up to us. We can’t leave it to the schools, their friends, or even the church.
We’ve got to have “the talk” with our kids, and we have to do it today, tomorrow, and often.
Our lives depend on it.
And no, I’m not talking about the birds and the bees. Yes, by all means have that talk, too! Talk about our bodies, and what it means to love well and honor God in a loving, committed marriage, and all of that.
But the first talk we need to be having is one of love when it comes to difference. From Day One, even when our children are infants, we must teach them what it means to love each other regardless of skin color or other difference. Show your kids age-appropriate movies and television shows that embrace diversity, whether that is age, gender, skin color, ability, or language. Give them opportunities to play with other kids who aren’t exactly like them on the outside. Seek out and cultivate friends of your own both for pleasure and to model what this looks like in heathy, happy adult life, too. Go to church in diverse places, and try foods from other cultures.
Show them people are people regardless of looks.
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Recently, I read a commentary by a pastor in South Carolina, the Rev. Angela Halter Marshall, who reflected on racial disparity after the death of Ahmaud Arbery, who was shot earlier this year while jogging in Brunswick, Georgia.
As Marshall wrote to her African-American brothers and sisters, “When your parents were giving you ‘the talk’ about how the world would see you, my parents were giving me ‘the talk’ of how I might see the world. I was told not to judge others according to the color of their skin, while you were told that people would judge you according to yours. I was told to look people in the eye as it was a sign of respect, while you were told not to make eye contact because it would make you look aggressive. I was told to be kind to others and they would be kind to me, while you were told to be kind to others even if they weren’t kind to you.”
The sad truth is we are all judged every day about things we have no control over. It’s not fair. And as a Christian, I’m tired of it. I don’t want to live in fear, and I don’t want that for any of my brothers and sisters, either. Scripture tells me God did not give me a “spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT). Scripture tells me we are all one in Jesus, whether Jew or Gentile, slave or free (1 Corinthians 12:12-13). As Paul writes to the Roman church, “We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other” (Rom 12:5 NLT).
I wrote last week on how our racial divisions are heartbreaking, as they should be. As a mom, I’ve always tried to pass on my “love everyone no matter what” and “don’t fear difference” mindset to my kids. I know a lot of my friends are doing the same thing. I hope when these kids come of age, the world will be another generation closer to unity when it comes to any difference, whether race, age, gender, or ability.
We need to be proactive about it and vocal about it—as vocal as we are about “no texting while driving,” “don’t do drugs,” and “wait until marriage.” We need to model it ourselves.
That’s something concrete we can do now to make a difference.
Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (NIV). This is not only true for matters of faith and religious instruction but also when it comes to difference and agape love.
Talk about it. Model it.
Together, we can be the body of Christ working in full harmony for the glory of His holy kingdom.
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