And I Watched Them Drive Away
By Jessica Brodie
I don’t think it really hit me until I stood there, waving goodbye as I watched my two kids drive away, the taillights from the car gleaming in the distance.
This morning, my two children headed off to high school, and for the first time, I didn’t drive them. My oldest, 16, drove them both in his car.
Talk about surreal. I’d known they were growing up and taking steps toward being out of the house. But now these kids, who I’d birthed, cared for, and driven pretty much everywhere for almost two decades, were essentially fending for themselves. We hugged, prayed together, and took the obligatory first-day-of-school photo. Then they hopped in Cameron’s car and headed to school… on their own.
And I watched them drive away, conscious suddenly of my solitary figure standing outside our home, left behind.
Cameron is a junior and Avery a freshman. And while they still need me for some things—for parenting and guidance, for love, for meals and supervision and occasional homework help—they no longer need me on the level they used to. It’s a good thing, a natural step in the evolution of parenting and childhood. Kids are supposed to grow up, supposed to transition from dependence to independence. One day, they’ll be off to college and then into the workforce and starting families of their own. I want this for them even as I miss those bedtime stories and playground days, those times of endless cuddles and pretending to be Superhero Mommy, the One Who Fixes Everything.
It all happened so fast, just as other moms promised it would. They were all right.
And now I was alone, standing and waving in the driveway as my “babies” left the nest.
How strange… and yet how right.
Still, I had to put so much trust in God to do that one simple thing: send them out into the world. Dozens of catastrophes could await them, from car accidents to gun violence, and one thing is certain. There is absolutely nothing I can do to stop any of it. In truth, I’m in control of nothing. All I can do is pray and let them go, pray and send them on their way, trusting I’ve taught them well and God is wrapping them in a blanket of protection.
They belong to Him, anyway, not me—I’m just the woman blessed to be their mom.
But it’s hard, isn’t it? Sometimes we think we have control over our circumstances, think that with the right tools and preparation we’ll be able to ward off disaster—or achieve success—when really we are delicate human souls, here on this earth one moment and dancing in eternity the next.
That verse from James 4:14 always gets me, for it puts our fragile existence into true perspective: What is my life but a mist, a wisp of fog, here today and then gone?
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’” —James 4:13-15 (NIV)
Everything I am, everything I have, every aspect of my life, it’s all because of the Lord. What I do impacts it, yes—I can use these gifts well, nurture them, foster them, help them grow and thrive. But I didn’t earn them. They were given, and it’s up to me merely to appreciate them and send them forth, trusting God to use everything in His perfect, beautiful plan.
Those gifts include my precious children, now another step out the door toward adulthood.
But I have faith: God has them. God has it all under control.
And all will be well, whether this side of heaven or the next.
How are you this week, my friend? Are you struggling with trusting God about something?
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