Six Tips to Get More Comfortable with Going to Church

By Jessica Brodie

Do you ever struggle with going to church? For some people, they’ve always been an every-Sunday kind of person without question. But other people? Not so much.

Maybe that’s you. Maybe you’ve been feeling that nudge to go more frequently, to get more involved and have a genuine church family, but you just don’t know where to start. Maybe you’ve tried, but it just feels so awkward and uncomfortable you’re not sure you want to go back… except you know God wants you to.

We’re not supposed to go to church because we like it or because of our own feelings. We’re called to go to church for other reasons. Maybe you’ve heard the saying, “The church is not built for our pleasure but for God‘s purpose.” It’s true.

But the reality is our feelings about church do influence our attendance. Sometimes we feel downright uncomfortable, and it makes us pull away from our church. Perhaps it makes us stop going altogether.

A lot of genuine Christians don’t go to church, and the reasons vary. Some simply can’t be around other people because of an immune system issue or disability that makes it extremely difficult. Some people are really hurt by past experiences at church or other Christians and can’t bring themselves to set foot inside a church again and open old wounds. Some got out of the habit during COVID and now only attend online. Others have always found they connect with and worship God best in nature and never even considered going to church.

But there are plenty of reasons why going to church is good for those who are followers of Christ. First, the church is God‘s gift to his people. Jesus Christ himself established the church. Gathering regularly with other believers strengthens us and helps us walk in faith better. As well, gathering with other believers brings strength in numbers. Simply put, we can do more together, whether that’s ministry or prayer.

Maybe you’re someone who has a wonderful church and you’ve always loved it and felt perfectly at home there, or perhaps the church you attend is the same one you’ve been attending since you were a child. But other people truly struggle with going to church and feeling a connection. Some churches are cliquey, and they find it difficult to get involved or break into already existing social circles. Other churches are perfectly friendly, and there are a ton of activities, yet people find it difficult to continue going because they just don’t feel emotionally invested with their congregation. They go to worship service week after week, but then they miss a Sunday here or a Sunday there and they just never start back up again.

If you’re trying hard to go to church and feel more comfortable doing so, here are six ways you can become more emotionally invested in and committed to church attendance:

1. Join a Sunday school class or a small group

Sometimes it’s really hard to connect with other people and care about a church when all you’re doing is attending a worship service each week. Joining a small group or a Sunday school class ensures you are actively making relationships with other people on a more personal level. You start to learn other people‘s names, and you might learn things about their lives that are more intimate. Perhaps you pray for them or they pray for you. You build bonds with these people. Together, you likely study God’s word together. It helps make the church feel more like a genuine community and less like an experience. It turns something big into something more manageable, palatable, and navigable.

2. Do a job or two at church

Churches always need people to help with things on a regular basis. If your church is more traditional, they might need people to set up worship elements on the altar, serve as acolytes or ushers, sing in the choir, or organize flowers. Your church might need children’s helpers or welcome greeters. You don’t have to volunteer every single week, but if you volunteer for a job, you’re far more likely to show up, and when you start showing up regularly, church starts to feel more like home.

3. Go to your church’s events

Maybe your church does a lot of fish fry fundraisers, but you hate seafood. Go anyway. Maybe your church is holding a yard sale to benefit youth, and you neither have kids nor anything to donate. Go anyway and show your support. Going to church events starts helping you feel more invested in activities, and it helps you start to care more.

4. Pray for your church members

If your church has an email prayer list, sign up for it. Even if you don’t know a single person on the list you’re praying for, pray for them anyway. Say their name aloud and lift them to the Lord. We are all family in Christ, and I imagine we’ll all know each other very well in heaven. Also, praying for someone creates an emotional bond between you and that person. It opens your own heart up to caring, developing feelings of empathy or sympathy for another person.

5. Make a friend or invite a friend

Pick one other person and church and befriend them. Invite them out for coffee or lunch. Volunteer together. Just one person can make a difference. Or get a friend or family member to be your “church buddy” and commit to getting involved together. Go to Sunday school regularly and to church events.

6. Ask your pastor

Ask your pastor for help getting involved. They can steer you to a group they think would be a good fit or encourage someone else to be your ambassador, taking you under their wing and helping you settle in better.

There’s no one “right” way to experience church. But having a church family is a blessing, offering an opportunity for love and fellowship with other believers. Challenge yourself to try these tips and see if they help.

Do you have another tip? Share in the comments below, or email me. God bless you!

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Thanks to my Patreon sponsors: Matt Brodie, Emily Dodd, Jane, Marcia Hatcher, Frances Nwobi, Kathleen Patella, Billy Robinson, Yancy Rose, and Lanny Turner.