Paying Attention: What Bonding with My Dog Taught Me About God—and People
By Jessica Brodie
Have you ever experienced an epiphany about relationships from the most unexpected place? That was me this weekend.
Our family adopted a puppy, Captain, in June, and he is an adorable and simultaneously exasperating bundle of energy. Captain is a German Shepherd with paws so big everyone who meets him feels compelled to tell us how giant he’s going to be. Judging from his parents, they’re probably right. He’s obsessed with chewing everything, and we’ve had to move rugs and pretty much everything else off the ground—and now off table heights. Thank goodness for our awesome puppy daycare!
I knew going in that puppies were a lot of work, but this is my first puppy. And I’m admittedly more of a cat person, anyway. So I have to admit I was more than a little relieved when Captain started to bond the strongest with my husband,
I know Captain loves me, but let’s be real: The sun rises and sets for him in relation to my husband. He stands outside the bathroom door whining and whimpering until my husband comes out, he looks mournfully at the bedroom door if my husband has to go back inside for something, and he generally follows him around the house and sits adoringly at his feet. It’s stinking cute—and also really great for me because sweet hubby has to do the most of the work with him.
My cat, Leia, on the other hand really enjoys how we mutually ignore each other and allows me to pet her in reward.
But this weekend my husband had to go out of town to a place where we couldn’t bring our puppy. And at just four months, he wasn’t quite ready to go to a kennel overnight. Also, I had a looming deadline. So we decided I’d stay home with Captain. The kids were off with their other parents for the weekend, so it was just me, Captain, Leia, our fish, an empty house, and a bunch of work. (As much as I missed my husband, the empty house was really kind of nice.)
The question was what to do about Captain, who loves to chew. So I decided my strategy would be to wear him out as much as possible so he’d sleep for most of the day, thereby allowing me to get my work done.
We woke up early, and we’d go outside a bit. Then we’d come in, have breakfast, then go outside again, this time for a longer walk. Then it was back indoors—and soon Captain helped me realize it was time to play. With no one else but me to entertain him, he promptly brought me all of his toys.
First he offered me his tennis ball, which we threw around the house for a long, long time. Then he brought me his long chewy braided rope thing, and we played tug-of-war. Then I fished for him with the flirt pole for ages until it whipped me in the leg enough times to leave a bruise.
Apparently, quality time is Captain’s love language.
He started accompanying me to the bathroom when I put in my contact lenses. I walked into the kitchen to get some water, and there was Captain, right at my heels. So I’d reach down and pet him, and how did Captain respond? He’d lay down and relax, content just to be with me. All I had to do was give him a little bit of attention, and he was set.
Finally, exhausted, he crashed for pretty much the whole day, and I got my work done.
Basically, attention equaled a happy, tired-out, fulfilled dog.
It occurred to me at some point over the weekend that this is really the secret to most relationships. Like a plant requires water and sunlight to thrive and grow, our animals need food, adequate sleep, adequate play, and plenty of petting in order to thrive. If they don’t get what they want, they start acting out. They look for attention in other ways, usually by doing the wrong thing. After all, negative attention is better than no attention, right?
My kids were the same way when they were little. I needed to focus on them and love them and give them attention or they’d start seeking attention by doing things they weren’t supposed to do.
And truthfully, isn’t it the same way with us adults? Our marriages require that attention. Our friendships require that attention. Our relationship with the Lord requires that attention, too, otherwise will begin to slowly drift away.
Whether it’s plants, pets, kids, spouses, friends, or most importantly our relationship with God, we need to put in time for it to be healthy. I don’t know about you, but I start to wilt in my relationship with God when I put Him on the back burner. When I take time to pray, walk in nature and meditate on Him and His wonders, thank Him at mealtimes, talk about Him generally with people, read the Bible, worship, etc., all those things are ways of tending my relationship with him. And in return, I feel closer to Him. I know Him deeper and more intimately.
God loves me as I am. He knows all my human weaknesses. He doesn’t change, and He’s not going to stop loving me when I’m not in a relationship with him. These things I do, they’re for me. God doesn’t need my relationship with Him—He wants my relationship with Him.
However, I know I need my relationship with Him to have a full life in accordance with His beautiful design.
Today I challenge you to take a look at your relationships, whether it’s with people or animals or the divine. Are you tending them properly? Do you need to start giving more attention to a place that is wilting?
I’d love to hear from you. Reply in the comments below, engage with me on social media, or send me an email. God bless you, and have a wonderful day!